As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his new-found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival.
Set in 1882 in the American west, Albert is a lowly farmer with a nice girlfriend. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Alberts interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in tow, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. It wont be easy because there are a million ways to die in the west.
|nudity||4/10 There is no nudity and no real sex scenes in this movie - but there is a lot of sexual dialog and innuendo. Edward is waiting for his girlfriend in a salon. Ed's girlfriend is having sex with an older man offscreen and we hear Ruth shout, 'Shoot That Dirty Cowboy Cum All Over My Face!' Edward has a discussion with a bartender and the bartender asks Edward, 'Do you mind it when Ruth is screwed by several guys a day?' Edward replies, 'Well, my job isn't that easy too.' Edward insinuates that Ruth's breath smells like semen. A bartender tells Ruth, 'I think my boss wants anal.' Albert's father farts and shouts, 'That came out of my penis!' On a date, Edward tells Ruth, 'Honey, you've got a bit of...you know, on your face.' Edward means 'sperm' and he wipes it with his handkerchief off her face. Ruth tells Edward, 'I had a busy day today, I had to jack off this guy while putting ash on his balls with his cigar.' Insinuation that Clinch is going to rape Anna. It doesn't happen. Anna puts a sunflower in Clinch's naked buttocks. Multiple scenes have fake sheep penises. One sheep pees on a man's face. Later sheeps are shown dancing around peeing out of their very visible penises. Ruth shows Edward her vagina but nothing is shown. Cleavage shown in multiple scenes. Ruth invites Edward to "come fuck". A man comes up to Ruth in a saloon and says "Ruth! Let's fuck!" Ruth agreeably says "Ok"|
|violence||(Violence: 7/10 Gore: 5/10) Many, many people get killed in many different ways (hence the title). Some are gory, some are not. Several people are shot dead. One man is killed by a bull, we can see the bulls horn going into the man and there is a little visible blood on the mans shirt. A photographer shoots a portrait of a man and a woman, who explode into flames with the background scenery; the man and the woman wave their arms and jump as two other men shoot at them with rifles (no blood); they fall backward, the photographer falls to the ground in flames and we see his bloody, severed arm burning in close up. A falling block of ice smashes a man's head as it knocks him to the ground; we see a lot of brown splatter shoot out in all directions and the corner of the ice block is seen to be covered in red blood on top of a smashed man's body (a hat, an arm and a leg are sticking out). A man lies dead in the street (for three days, we hear) and we see two wolves drag the body away at night; the next day, a dog retrieves a severed calf and foot from the body, a man throws it off-screen and we hear a woman scream loudly. Bandits stop an elderly man, steal his gold and the ringleader shoots the old man in the chest, killing him (no blood) as he falls backward off screen. During a shootout a man shoots another in the arm (we see torn fabric), while the other man shoots the first man's gun out of his hand. A man dies of snake venom which was in a bullet that grazed his arm; the wounded man stumbles and slurs his speech, then falls to the ground in the street and a man and a woman stand by the body and the woman says the man is dead. Two men start a gunfight and one of the men backs out; the other man shoots the first man in the lower leg with a glancing shot, felling him (we see no blood, but there is a black bullet mark on his boot later). Bandits chase a man across the desert on horseback, shooting but missing him and stop at a racing train, as the lone man dashes across the tracks. Bandits enter a saloon and their ringleader threatens to kill more people after shooting a man in the chest at point blank range (the shot man falls dead, without blood showing). Bandits point guns at people and threaten to kill several people around town in a few scenes. A woman says the ringleader of the bandits will be the dead man one day. In a jail cell, one of the bandits beats up the sheriff and leaves him on the floor with a gash over the eye and blood under his head (could be alive or dead). A man chokes a woman and she coughs, then chokes her again later and kisses her, making her cough louder until she picks up a large rock and slams it into the man's face (no blood), felling him and escaping. A bandit threatens to shoot a dog between the eyes. Native Americans knock a man unconscious and tie him to a stake, but stop short of lighting fire to him. A man shoots at a target on a door and his father comes through the door shooting a rifle but hitting nothing. An extended fight sequence in a saloon shows men fighting with fists, broken chairs and broken liquor bottles (all objects broken over other men's heads); one man dies of a slit throat (we see a lot of blood flowing), another man has his head pounded into the bar several times while tables are overturned and men fall, one man is thrown into the street through the glass window, which shatters loudly, two women fight by pulling hair and pushing, and two men in a corner pretend to fight and one accidentally slugs the other in the jaw (no serious injuries seem to occur). A woman dancing kicks a man in the face, without injury, but he falls. A man starts to hallucinate: he is shot in the back by a horde of dwarf bandits (blood spurts briefly from the exit wound on his chest), a large condor attacks him from the air and we see the bird's testicles as the man kicks it in the groin and a door handle changes into a snapping snake's head and back into a handle. A man flatulates at a saloon table as he stands and falls dead, head first into the table with a loud crash. A man stumbles and then suffers diarrhea on screen and we see him use two hats apparently to catch the feces as we hear a loud series of gurgles, flatulence and splats (we do not see feces until he knocks a hat over with his foot and we see what looks like a black and brown flow on the ground). A doctor holds a bird that pecks a bloody wound on a man's face to clean it. A man stumbles and falls on his sheep ranch and in town on rough streets, is thrown through a large glass saloon window among loud shattering glass, is hit in the head twice with large dinner plates (falling to the ground and off a horse), falls over a short desert ledge and falls into a deep hole (we see the man's forehead cut slightly and bleeding a little in three scenes). We hear that the local schoolteacher died when a passing tumbleweed slit her throat in front of children. A man tells a woman that his dad is up on the hill, burying himself beside Mom. Multiple spoken lists of ways to die in the Old West are made, for example: snake venom, charging bulls, bar brawls, gunfights, wild desert animals, falling ice blocks, cholera, small pox, larger pox, county fairs, photography explosions, prospecting, Indians, train wrecks, bad booze, desert heat, card games that end in shootouts, refusing to play cards, doctors that use blue jays to peck at wounds, bowel inflammation, and blood poisoning. A woman teaches a man to shoot, but he cannot hit any of the bottles lined up on a rail fence and he slaps them to the ground with his arm in frustration. A man approaches a county fair shooting booth, shooting the operator dead (he falls backward, no blood) and walks away. One man is kicked in the crotch.|
|profanity||9/10 43 F-Words. 28 uses of 'shit.' Frequent uses of 'asshole' and balls.' See "sex" section above ... there is a lot of sexual dialog and sex related jokes. These usually contain profanity.|
|alcohol||5/10 Anna asks Albert, 'if he takes any types of drugs such as pot?' Albert responds by saying, 'No way. It's too dangerous.' Two people eat a pot cookie and later appear stoned. Albert gets drunk in one scene. Albert takes a hallucinogen and experiences a "trip". Albert rolls a cigarette. Several scenes are in a western saloon where drinking is occurring. In one of the scenes several persons appear drunk.|
|frightening||1/10 The corner of a huge ice block suddenly falls on someone's head, turning it to pulp. Blood and guts splatter. Overall: 24/50|